03675, Sir!

That moment when you’re so proud of your first real  résumé when some professional tampered it. Damn! For the nth time, I’ve had enough of it. I guess. My family, most especially my cousin’s been pushing me to start as a customer service representative a.k.a. call center agent (well I have no idea if it has a difference and I have nothing against it), he even tampered my résumé and compared it to his curriculum vitae. He’s a network admin and I’m a fresh graduate student, anong laban ko sa résumé niya? Hahaha. I was like, “Oh. Yeah. That. Okay. Uh, sure.” while my cousin’s giving his words on the real world of employment and how should I tailor my résumé. I’ve felt so fucked up that moment. At least he’s a real gentleman and said every word with pure precautions. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. Of course as a family, you would want the very best for them, even in the hardest possible way. I know it’ll get the most out of your communication skills, but the job itself doesn’t require a specific degree, as long as you’ve had a two year college life and has a good communication skills, you’re in. That’s the situation that I’ve been struggling with, I feel like I’m 50% underemployed. Almost underemployed. I wanna be in the field of television and radio production, not as a call center agent, but only God knows how things would work for me. I’m just so fucked up and confused on what to do with my life right now. I even wanna laugh at myself. Oh, gahd. 

I am not that much inclined to photography, but every family does have a camera nowadays. Of course who would miss a digital camera, yes we do have one. We also have Fuji Cheki Instax Mini 20. An instant polaroid camera. But as it runs out of cartridges, Momma hid it somewhere in her closet and never had I touched it. Ever again. But if given a chance that I’ll be employed this year, I’d search for it and buy a compatible cartridge and non of them will touch it *evil laugh*. No, no, no, just kidding.

If I’d start adding photography as part of my interest/social life — (of course I’d go in to workshops and all that stuff, to avoid the society’s judgement as just a *conyo-trying-hard-photographer* thingy) — I would love to buy an Analogue Camera. The Sardines Analogue Camera. I find it so cute and not so professional. I don’t wanna look like a wedding photographer or any event photographer, I just wanna be a so-so knowledgeable person in photography. I would also wanna buy GE X500 POWER PRO Mini-DSLR. Stylish, sleek and handy! Again, it falls on my ‘so-so’ category for me. One of the things that I’ve been thinkin’ these days of job-haunting. Sounds like ‘counting the chicks before the eggs hatch’, or something like that, eh? Oooh whatever!

punchdrunkpanda:

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Want.

Must think about my every tomorrow that’ll come now that I’ve just graduated. I’ve set my own goals in life before graduating from college. Of course everyone must. But lately, things seemed so wrong. I couldn’t even focus on stuff that I know could lead me to a positive rationale. As if people around me were Dementors that could always suck every inch of optimism inside you.

Okay, enough of introduction. 

To cut it short, my cousin, a Network Admin in an IT related society in Ortigas asked me to give him a copy of my resume so he could refer me to their company as a call center agent (as far as I could remember), I was taken aback. Not because I would love to go on to that career but I do not want to waste my four years of hardship in college, fulfilling my degree the best way I can do. I have nothing against being a call center agent, but anyone with a two to four years of bachelor’s degree holder could be an agent right away. Any course, anyone, anybody. I am not good when it comes to answering or giving calls. I don’t even know the system that’s been happening on a call center. Sessions of training  could do, but I couldn’t still concede it.

Forgive me for grumbling about this, but it is my dream to start from small in the industry of media, particularly in film and/or production. The first step is to become a production assistant (it is way too different from personal assistant, I’m telling you) or a researcher or a writer. I wanted to become a better employee out of my degree. I was trained to become a media practitioner, both in television and radio. But if God permits me to go astray from my goal just to learn, come what may.

Weird things happened. Emotions burst out unintentionally and people around me acted as if they’re my secret enemy. No, I was joking. I just hate this feeling of being worthless as if I’m a new born baby. Because of that, I did things I never thought that I would do, thought of possible ideas and rant it secretly. Srsly, I’m losing the drive of being sane today.

• I had a fucking unwanted pep talk with my ‘self-proclaimed successful cousin’ about my career path and all that shit. With that I felt like an idiot in front of him. Caught off guard whether to listen to him, answer the phone or resist my lola’s overreacting rants on Pinoy Henyo.
• I’ve been stalking this girl who accidentally posted her email address and password on facebook as her status (because she’s using mobile facebook). Yeah, yeah, call me a badass bitch. Good thing I’m a good stalker/hacker, after opening her account, I immediately hid her post to avoid more hackers. You know what I mean. Then logged out right away.
• Twitter finally convinced me to join the dark side. I mean, hello, it’s been 6 years since Twitter was launched, it’s 2012, we are not obligated to create an account, but here I am, stupidly created one for myself. But mind you, I will not sync my Tweets on facebook, why? Because I have my own status updates box, why would I sync it? If I do, then what’s the use of these two different networking site? Okay, fine, nevermind, whatever.
• I’m still staring at Mr. Scrumptious Piaya given by Kixa. I am not allowed to eat this, Tish and I must be sharing this grace, until we meet, Tuesday, why you so tagal?

Okay, too much rants. A lot of unwanted issues. Never mind.

These numbers served as my identity for almost four years in college. I’ve been thinking of blogging about graduation ever since its stressful week started, but not a single word came out. Well, this post supposedly, is an obligatory-post-graduation-thingy for me. Words couldn’t explain how I have felt after receiving my dummy diploma. I’m happy, that all these years of academic hardship has come to an end and hafta face the saddest truth that I have to find a job and be a better person out of my degree someday.

Corny post, eh? I just have no idea how to end it. I used to have a lot to say. Kbye.

Pride and Prejudice…and Zombies?!

Isang maulan at mapayapang hapon mula sa puso ko at bintana ng kwarto ko. =)) — at Espana Blvd., Sampaloc, City of Manila.

I’m planning to restyle this old denim long sleeves. Still have no idea how, but I’ve been removing the stitches of its breast pockets, I’ll probably reverse the right pocket and just remove the left part (I don’t like the  embroidery on it) later. Can you imagine what I’ve said? Good. Any suggestion what more should I do?

I won’t be seeing you for a week, that I couldn’t handle much. We both need to settle things outside this relationship. I knew it’ll be as hard in school as what I’ve expected but I have to do it with my friend and not with you. I know you really do wanna help but you have your own responsibilities for your family and with your work. Last night’s phone call triggered my longing for you. Didn’t expect that you’d cry. Such a tear jerky. A week isn’t that much long, what more if I already have a job. I know we could get through this. Just keep holding on and never take things way too serious it might eat and smothers you, love.

Since it’s too early to ask for dinner (because we usually dine at 9 in the evening), out of hunger, I went to Ministop Vicente Cruz alone (which is rare for me to do so, I don’t even know most of our neighbor because I’m such a homey and way too shy to get out of the house unless I have a date or an appointment with someone), I wasn’t surprise when the guy at the cashier informed me that there’s no Vanilla Ice Cream left for me slash the store’s too old to handle enough customer’s needs. No, just kidding. So I moved my butt off without even buying anything else even though I’m also craving for their Chicken Kariman and just walked next to the nearest Ministop — Dela Fuente. Just established last 2011, fresh and really proved that this is a convenient store. So I’ve expected that this time, it’ll provide what I needed. A giant cone of sundae and a Chicken Kariman. Instant, not ifs, no buts, I bought them right away. 

PS. Thesis, I’ve been staring at you for the whole day and not a single idea came out. I really, really wanna talk to Tish about this. This made me hungry.

Pain in the ass. Graduation pictures all over my NewsFeed. Oh no, DEPRESSING GRADUATION PICTURES ON MY NESWFEED. Here I am, rushing things. Still processing things for my fucked up birth certificate. Been to Manila City Hall for days, aiming for the clerical error of my middle name only to find out that there’s more error than expected. Middle name, birth order and my parents’ date of marriage. How depressingly awesome is that? Deadline for the printing of the Certificate of Candidacy’s on Friday. What’s the day today? Tuesday, tomorrow Wednesday Papa will process stuff for the legal and medical records for any required shit needed. And on Thursday, he will submit all of it for the final screening. Thursday, then Friday will be my last chance if I will be graduating on May 11, 2012 or not.

I’m losing the drive to fight for it, to go for it. Another thing, we haven’t finalized our thesis and we have no idea where the hell is our professor, as if he didn’t mind that we’re graduating. As if he’s done his part and so should we.

So help me, Lord.

Graduation is just around the corner. I just couldn’t seem to chase it because—I don’t know. Lost 2 followers on Tumblr. Goodbye unknown followers, my Tumblr ‘Followers’ link will surely do missed you. I have no idea why they left me, maybe because my blog’s way too boring and dry. NO. I MUST NOT ASSUME. 

For now, all the things that I might be posting will prolly be about GRADUATION, RELATIONSHIP, PERSONAL STUFF and ramdom REBLOGS. 

PS. If you’re thinking about leaving me after blogging this, please do try to leave me a goodbye message on my inbox. (Okay I feel so pathetic. Hahaha)