03675, Sir!

These numbers served as my identity for almost four years in college. I’ve been thinking of blogging about graduation ever since its stressful week started, but not a single word came out. Well, this post supposedly, is an obligatory-post-graduation-thingy for me. Words couldn’t explain how I have felt after receiving my dummy diploma. I’m happy, that all these years of academic hardship has come to an end and hafta face the saddest truth that I have to find a job and be a better person out of my degree someday.

Corny post, eh? I just have no idea how to end it. I used to have a lot to say. Kbye.

Any of this qualify my peg for graduation cocktail dress.

Pain in the ass. Graduation pictures all over my NewsFeed. Oh no, DEPRESSING GRADUATION PICTURES ON MY NESWFEED. Here I am, rushing things. Still processing things for my fucked up birth certificate. Been to Manila City Hall for days, aiming for the clerical error of my middle name only to find out that there’s more error than expected. Middle name, birth order and my parents’ date of marriage. How depressingly awesome is that? Deadline for the printing of the Certificate of Candidacy’s on Friday. What’s the day today? Tuesday, tomorrow Wednesday Papa will process stuff for the legal and medical records for any required shit needed. And on Thursday, he will submit all of it for the final screening. Thursday, then Friday will be my last chance if I will be graduating on May 11, 2012 or not.

I’m losing the drive to fight for it, to go for it. Another thing, we haven’t finalized our thesis and we have no idea where the hell is our professor, as if he didn’t mind that we’re graduating. As if he’s done his part and so should we.

So help me, Lord.

Graduation is just around the corner. I just couldn’t seem to chase it because—I don’t know. Lost 2 followers on Tumblr. Goodbye unknown followers, my Tumblr ‘Followers’ link will surely do missed you. I have no idea why they left me, maybe because my blog’s way too boring and dry. NO. I MUST NOT ASSUME. 

For now, all the things that I might be posting will prolly be about GRADUATION, RELATIONSHIP, PERSONAL STUFF and ramdom REBLOGS. 

PS. If you’re thinking about leaving me after blogging this, please do try to leave me a goodbye message on my inbox. (Okay I feel so pathetic. Hahaha)

Nababaliw na ‘ko. Konting kembot nalang kasi May 11, 2012 na. Ilang linggo nalang pala. Ngayon ako natataranta. Pero sabi nga ni Yvettee, ‘yan na siguro ‘yung sukli ng 12 pesos per unit na binabayaran namin. Tapos, kami pa ‘yung unang batch na gagraduate sa Student Information System o Online Enrollment System. Pinagpapraktisan ba, kaya sobrang gulo at nakakataranta ‘yung mga prosesong ginagawa namin. 

Lord, let your will be done. 

I have attained the most challenging and life changing educational experience, studying in a State University. Opposite from what I have experienced in high school—where all the things I needed were provided by the people around me, a  pompous kind of living as a teenager, a very dependent lifestyle indeed.  I just couldn’t imagine how it changed my manner of living. As if I am a part of the indigent community.

Growing old at its finest. An independent life here in the metro. It’s fun, yet frustrating and it surely drained the hell out of me. A strange place filled with worldly strangers. For almost four years, I’ve adjusted myself from all the putrid things around me. Noisy, noisy and very noisy campus, an extremely dirty comfort room and a vandalized classroom with two useless electric fans. I never felt that thing they called ‘Culture Shock’ or whatsoever crybaby grouches. I never tried to belong to any kind of social bandwagon, I never even desired to stand out. I bet I’m one of those invisible students. But one thing’s for sure, luxury has no place in state university, if any of you have seen one, we worked hard for it. Leisure time’s for kids. Equally for the win. When it comes to the system and the people on it, we’ve experienced both heaven and hell in this State University. 

PS. I just really fucking wanna graduate, I am both happy and frustrated from all of the things that happened to me. Graduation status, 50/50. Blaming myself from all of this shit and now I am fucking blogging it. Whaaaat? 

This is the GViest message that I’ve read on my Facebook wall today.

Today is Ash Wednesday. And yesterday, God proved how he could truly provide. I’ve planned to apply for internship in Net25 with Tish yesterday, but our classmate recommended us that we could also try Bayan Productions (ABS-CBN). Since New Era’s compound is out of the way from PUP, we dropped by first at Quezon Ave and walked it off going to Bayan Productions. A warm welcome from St. Francis de Assisi as we’ve entered their office. Guards were benign and could easily get along with. After Bayan Productions,  we headed off to Net25 by 4:30pm. That’s the situation. We arrived at 5:15, I guess. Office hour closes at 5:00pm. Too bad we didn’t make it, after those overpriced tricycle rides. Ugh.

But good things happen to those who wait, better things for those who move. Thank you, Lord for answering our prayer quickly and for providing a better option. We do hope that this is really it, Bayan Prod. We’re tired of rejection. 

Dear Internship, this photo here is the most important thing that happened today. Don’t you dare ruin anything relevant to our graduation. So please, please, please, let me get what I want from you.A slot for an on-the-job-training. 

No, I am not going to talk about any of the shit that happened yesterday. I’ve had enough of it before I left school and I’ll never get the hang of it. Yesterday was horrible. But one thing’s for sure, I’m fucking done defending what I needed to defend —and I am aware that I’m being emotional right now. Fuckit. What happened yesterday doesn’t assure us that I will be graduating this May. I still have Internship to fuck on and fuck those TV Stations for not calling us back right away.  I really wanna give up, you know. But I do have dreams and I don’t wanna be a disappointment. My parents are quite sure that I will graduate on December, without hard feelings, mind you—oh, no. I will do everything just to make it possible to march on the World Trade Center this May. Mark it. 

“January 27 Last day for graduating students to clear their deficiencies”

College Problem: Realizing you won’t graduate on time.

Fck completion process. This is one of the disadvantages of online enrollment and grading thingy. We haven’t defended our thesis yet—And nobody called us back from all those TV Stations we’ve applied to for internship. Most of them will start accepting this February, our professor needs our internship documents on the third week of February and we need to fulfill a 150 hours of ojt. Oh, life. :(

1. Nalaman kong extended ang Application for Graduation hanggang February 15, 2012. Naligalig ako, pero totoong may kapalit na kalechehan pag ang tao’y masaya. Hanggang bukas nalang ‘yung Completion for Deficiencies for Graduating Students at ‘yung prof ko sa thesis eh kung hindi pa tinawagan hindi magpaparamdam. Kanina lang kami nakapagpasa at sa Martes pa niya mababasa. Ang sarap umiyak, magwala at magmura. Matatanggap ko kung urauradang bukas na agad ‘yung defense kahit walang preparations na bongga makapagdefense lang. Eh lecheng buhay kolehiyo isama mo pa ang hirap ng buhay sa State University. Umaygash talaga! 
2. Wala pa ‘kong OJT. Limpak-limpak nang TV Stations ang inapplyan namin ni Tish mula December. Oo, December pa kami nagpasa at hindi October nang pagpasok ng 2nd Sem dahil hinintay naming maasikaso ng tropa namin ‘yung deficiencies niya para sabay-sabay kaming magaapply. Sweet no? Pero napabayaan na niya at masakit mang aminin na na-compromised ‘yung chance namin ni Tish. Hindi naman kasalanan nung tropa namin pero sayang rin ‘yung mga oras at araw na nakatengga kami sa wala. 

— Tanggap na ni Mama at Papa na ‘yung problema na ‘to, “Okay lang ‘yan anak. Basta makapagtapos ka, kahit anong petsa pa. Wag ka lang muna magaasawa.” Anak ng towa na sinabawan ng toyo’t suka na may sibuyas at bawang! Kinabahan ako, nachallenged ako. Lalong nataranta na makagraduate on time. Hindi ko alam kung nananaginip ako nung sinabi nila ‘yan pero kabaliktaran ang naramdaman ko. Nalungkot ako na baka mag-extend ako ng dahil lang sa Thesis at OJT. FML.

“A jealous woman does better research and investigation than FBI.” — Catherine M.

Yes, Ate Cath. You got it right. :)))

Ngayong kolehiyo, hindi na ako ‘yung tipo ng kaibigan na makikipagyakapan, besohan at i love you-han maya’t maya. In short, hindi ako malambing at touchy. Sa boyfriend ko, oo. Pag naglambingan na kami, may problema ang isa sa amin o kailangan talaga ng malambot na puso. Pero sa mga kaibigan at katropa kong babae, cool lang at walang girly flirty salutations pag nagkikita kami. Kindatan, ngitian at simpleng gestures lang. Parang mga magkakapatid na lalaki na nagkatagpuan. “Pre”, nasanay akong tumawag ng ganun. Hindi ko sila tinuring na bffaea (Bestfriends Forever and Ever, Amen), kundi kung ano sila sa akin at kung ano ako sa sarili ko. Parang kapatid, kakambal at kakosa. Equal. Parang nakaharap ako sa salamin pero ibang tao at may iba at bagong karakter. Masaya na ‘ko sa ganun. Masaya ‘kong nakikipagkwentuhan, nakikipagdamayan at nakikipagtsismisan sa kanila ng walang yakapan, lambuchingan at kung ano man. Casual. Walang plastikan sa sarili. Kilala namin at alam ang bituka at ugali ng bawat isa at sinasabi ng harapan ‘yung ayaw at gusto. Bakit? Kasi pag dating ng panahon na nagkasiraan, wala kaming pagsisisihan dahil alam namin ‘yung kabulukan ng bawat isa. Hindi kami nagsasalita pag ayaw naming kausapin ‘yung isang tao. O kahit ‘yung bawat isa samin. Kesa naman may masabi pang iba, iba? Katulad nung mga bida sa 3 Idiots, hindi na ‘ko makapaghintay na balikan at hagilapin sila makalipas ang ilang taong pagkakahiwalay dahil sa kanya-kanyang trabaho, pamilya at buhay. 

P.S. 2am na. Bangag na ‘ko ata. Nagiilusyon na naman ako na ggraduate na ‘ko eh nagpupuyat pa kami sa Thesis na INC at kailangang idepensa bago matapos ang Enero at wala pa kaming OJT. Pak! ILABYUPRENDS! :*

Lulling me to calm while doing ~*le thesis*~.